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Fear & Agony

by Gavino Mariano Mura

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1.
Raise your hands: surrender to My transcendental flame. Rest your head upon my breast: Let poetry take the blame. Scarlet skies, blue seas, green islands, I’ll present to you, my dear. Sing for me, now: sing your songs Of agony and fear.
2.
Pandora 04:14
Our words dissolve in fear As a stray groan Betrays the offence: Someone has unsealed And hollowed out The universe. Distortion pricks our ears As asymmetry Pierces our eyes: Someone has unsealed And hollowed out Our minds. Be still, my heart: The lotus will wipe away The tears you cried. And if the nightmare comes, Just tell her you’re way Too tired to ride.
3.
One more stroke of fear to start Provoking all those vacuous eyes. Disdain is just a simple matter Of self-preservation. Watch them as they lose control, Display what they conceal and Tell yourself the choice you made Was not dictated by your fate. Was it a ghost that quoted Yeats And mentioned Strindberg To fix the blame? This bathroom wall’s all that remains Of what’s been written Throughout the ages. Hell’s a place I’m getting used to, A cesspool of mediocre brutes. I claimed I was the blessed one, Well, it’s bliss that dragged me down. But after all, I can’t complain. I’ve got some books of poems and plays And, yeah, the amusement’s gone but, still, Their fundamental truth remains. Was it a ghost that quoted Yeats And mentioned Strindberg To fix the blame? This bathroom wall’s all that remains Of what’s been written Throughout the ages.
4.
Can you hear the deep white noise That heralds the executioner? It mauls the crags and madly yells: “Don’t waste your pleas. The sickle’s deaf.” Oh, prick my ears: I don’t want to hear. Unbind my mind: let me dream and dream again Of the harmony of our mythical metropolis, Of the symmetry of its spectral inhabitants. Can you see the bright black light That carries the executioner? It blights the steppe, it bares the wile And shows us that the sickle’s blind. Oh, pierce my eyes: I don't want to see. Unbind my mind: let me dream and dream again Of you… Of you… Of you… Of you… Oh, stab my heart: I don’t want to feel. Unbind my mind: let me dream and dream again Of the harmony of our mythical metropolis, Of the symmetry of its spectral inhabitants.
5.
Prometheus 04:17
As life begins to slow, I sense your impotent gaze on me. Sure, everything's fine! I’m just chained up to my first act. Please look into my eyes: Why can't you understand I'm still alive? Yes, I’ll survive This brutal pantomime. I once stole their fire. As life begins to shrink, I hear your heartbeat echo in my Skull. Stop mourning now. Just wait for my liver to regrow Tonight. Will you deny we've got A future when you see I'm still alive? Yes, I'll survive This brutal pantomime. I once stole their fire.
6.
The philosopher And the oldest trick in the book: “If thinking leads to language, And language leads to thinking, We can deduce that knowledge Stems from both in equal measure.” “Just put your trust in logic, And we will find the root Of your disorder.” And the concept of tragedy was born. My words came pouring down, And I drowned in sense and reason. The scientist And the fight or flight response: “If chemistry's the answer, And the answer lies within, We can assume that sorrow Is a question of synapses.” “Just put your trust in medicine, And we will find the cure For your disorder.” And the concept of tragedy was born. My words came pouring down, And I drowned in sense and reason. And the plague spread in no time. My flesh evaporated, And I died of thirst for blood.
7.
Sisyphus 03:36
I always tried to fail. I always failed to try. I tried to find some symmetry. I failed to mention why. My mind's a perfect sphere, A tidy globe of theories, Smooth and abstract, Real and compact, Overpacked with queries. Push the earth up to your neck. Let the earth roll off your shoulder. Push your head up to the hill. Let your head roll like a boulder. I always tried to live. I always failed to die. I tried to touch, to pray, to sin. I failed to rectify. The earth's a perfect sphere, A maze of oil refineries, An energetic, synergetic Septic tank of harmonies. Push the earth up to your neck. Let the earth roll off your shoulder. Push your head up to the hill. Let your head roll like a boulder.
8.
A dull pain in your chest exhales A thousand sighs you left unsung. Remorse runs smoothly in your blood, But it won’t soothe your torpid heart. The sirens laugh and call you again. You see them grin Above the surface of the sea. Now perfume violates your brain With secrets you have always known. Delight reveals his garden waits Beyond the lies you haven’t told. The sirens laugh and call you again. You see them grin Above the surface of the sea. And you crave the imprudence of their skin. But what’s the point in craving What you don’t know? And you crave the acceptance of their breath. But what’s the point in craving What you don’t need? You close your eyes, you close your ears And mouth five-hundred-year-old words. “Appease your troubled heart”, you sing, While wondering when your heart will blow. The sirens laugh and call you again. You see them grin Above the surface of the sea. And you crave the imprudence of their skin. But what’s the point in craving What you don’t know? And you crave the acceptance of their breath. But what’s the point in craving What you don’t need? And you crave the virtue of their eyes. But what’s the point in craving What you can’t see? And you crave the inflection of their hearts. But what’s the point in craving What you can’t hear?
9.
We saw their flesh rotting, Their bones turning to clay. He said: “It’s the Apocalypse.” I said: “Just a play.” We walked on the rubble Of the Tower of Babel. He said: “We’ll be history.” I said: “Just a fable.” Yet I find myself shuddering At the syncopated tune Of my own breath. Death is a thought I can ignore No more. My friend was no idiot, And to me, this was clear. He just asked me in my dispassion To comprehend his fear. My friend transmuted hearts Made of lead into gold While I just conjured demons For fear of getting old. Now I find myself shuddering At the syncopated tune Of my own breath. Death is a thought I can ignore No more. The last time I saw him, He’d been tied up in chains. They had shattered his head, They had trodden on his brain. The last time I heard of him, I was wrapped up in shame. I groaned, it was agony, And I cried out his name. So I find myself shuddering At the syncopated tune Of my own breath. Death is a thought I can ignore No more.
10.
When I’m alone, I’ll fall into Antique Italian dreams, among Thoughts made of marble, tears of paint And ghosts mouthing rhymes. In churches built of human blood, I’ll listen to God’s harmony. And when I return, I’ll tell Everyone of my secret life. Who would really comprehend my words? Who would try to understand Who I really am? For now, I’d better hold my tongue And work on some new cryptic lines, While German songs and Indian chants Try hard to overcome the noise. We all belong to it now, and to The unbridled Irish wind, A frenzied oracle of hope that Speaks in tongues and we can’t see. Who would really comprehend his words? Who would try to understand Who he really is? Who would really comprehend our words? Who would try to understand Who we really are? A floating world would be enough For me to face a sudden change, Although my poor, chaotic talk Would force me to lie ceaselessly. Concealed behind the shadows Of countless Japanese identities, I’d greet the darkness, kneel And, lastly, enjoy my solitude.

credits

released November 13, 2020

All songs written and performed by Gavino Mariano Mura

Vocals on The Voice Of The Goddess and The Sirens Call You Again by Maria Alexandra Klement

Guitars on Captivity by Hugh Cannon

Produced, mixed and mastered by Gavino Mariano Mura

Recorded in Dublin in 2019

Artwork by Gavino Mariano Mura

Special thanks to Serena Gadau, Mario Mura, Angela Pinna, Jake Regan (Il Miglior Fabbro), Hugh Cannon, Maria Alexandra Klement and John Breen

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